Numbers Game

Before my kids can leave every period, I have a routine they must follow...1. Sit 2. Be Quiet 3. Put your book in the top corner of your desk. I usually give them a heads up to the ringing of the bell. Here's what happened yesterday: Mr. H: Ok, 30 seconds until the bell. 7th Grade Student: 10, 9, 8, wait a minute. Mr. H: Really?

What's in a race?

Well, as the school year comes to a close, I have a few blog postings to catch you up on... While discussing the Supreme Court, I brought up a few "firsts" of the court. Sandra Day O'Connor - the first female justice. Thurgood Marshall - the first black justice and... Mr. H: Here's Sonia Sotomayor, the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice. 7th Grade Student: Is she black?

Bathroom Renovations

Every Thursday, my class reads the newspaper and discusses local and national issues. One issue last Thursday was arson. A student at a local high school basically set the bathroom on fire. The headline on the paper stated, "Repair estimates at $50k". The seventh grade mind took in that information and spit out this nugget of knowledge:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, does that mean 50 killion dollars?"

Mr. H: Ugghhh

The Future is Upon Us

While watching a news service in class, a story of a new type of car being developed by students at MIT came on. This new car was about a third of the size of a regular car and was for use in large cities. The kids really thought this was cool. I believe their enthusiasm can be summed up by this statement:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, I think the future is coming.

Mr. H: We'll see...

Fav 5

Today, in class, we were discussing the passage of immigrants to Ellis Island. I wanted to make sure my students understood that immigrants could only bring with them whatever they could carry...nothing more. To demonstrate, I asked them to choose their "fav 5"...any 5 items that they would bring with them if they were making the trek. The only stipulation being that they had to be able to carry the items. I got the very logical answers: food, clothing, water.
But I also got these:

7th Grade Student: Rocks

Another 7th Grade Student: Some pantyhose for church on Sunday.

One student had this to ask: Mr. H, Do they have McDonald's on the ships?

Mr. H: No.

Same student: Not even the McCafe?

Location, Location, Location

Hope everyone's having a happy holidays...Here's a little funny for you.

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, how far away is the United States from Decatur?
(I teach in Decatur, Alabama)

Mr. H: 10 miles.

Dates are Confusing

One of my students wanted to write a pass to the office...

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, what's today's date? The twenty-tenth? Wait a minute, that's not even a date, is it?

Mr. H:...

Getting Fixed Up

A student saw a picture of my dog on my desk. This happened next:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, your dog and my dog could make some pretty puppies.

Mr. H: Umm ok. Well, she's fixed, so it wouldn't really work.

7th Grade Student: That's ok, my dog's gay anyways.

Birf Control

Every Friday, my classes watch a short news segment tailored to middle schoolers. I believe it readies them to watch the news and be more involved with their community...anyway. This particular Friday, the news began talking about the world's population reaching 7 billion. They pointed out that the highest fertility rate in the world was in Africa. It was also said that these people are among the poorest in the world, so that causes a challege for the people. One of my students made an important point:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, it ain't they fault that they havin' so many babies...they ain't got no trojans down there.

Mr. H: What? Wait...don't repeat that.

Colonies vs. Countries

My class was taking a test today. This test covered the writing of the Declaration of Independence to the U. S. Constitution. This particular test had a question: What two states did not ratify the U. S. Constitution? The answers are North Carolina and Rhode Island. As I was walking around the room, I saw that one of my new favorite student wrote North Carolina and Korea. I gave her a bit of a hint...Korea is another country. I told her that these answers had to be one of the original 13 colonies. Her reply was one of "Oh, now I get it!" I walked away assuming that I had righted her wrong. I was wrong. I strolled by a few minutes later to see that she had changed her answer: North Carolina and Canada. Fail.

Closing Time, Eh?

This one came out of nowhere today:

7th Grader: Mr. H, does Canada close at 9:30?

Royal Mama Drama

In class, we've been talking about different types of governments. This happened:

7th grader: What happens if the queen dies?

Mr. H: Her son or daughter will take over.

Another 7th grader: Is her grandson the one that got married this summer?

Mr. H: Yes. William and Kate

7th grader: You talking about the one with all them kids?

Homophones Gone Bad

My class is currently studying Spain/Portugal. Tuesday, the students were labeling and coloring a map of the region. This random question was asked:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, is lesbian the capital of Portugal?

Mr. H: Umm...no, it's Lisbon. Moving on...

Really Fake Zombies

On Fridays, my students watch a student news video that reviews the world news of the week. Most episodes are about 10 minutes long, with the first 9 minutes being serious stuff. The last minute is usually a funny or cool news story to lighten the load of the first 9 minutes.

Well, this particular funny story involved a march in San Diego (I think). The participants in the march were dressed as, and acted like, zombies. One of my students asked me this question:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, are those real zombies?

Mr. H: Yes?

Road Tripping

One of my favorite students from last year called me over to his lunch table today. The rest, as they say, is history:

8th grade student: Mr. H, I'm gonna need you to pray for me.

Mr. H: Why is that?

8th grade student: Because I'm going out of the country this weekend.

Mr. H: Oh. Where are you going?

8th grade student: Atlanta...I'm going to a Brave's game.

Mr. H: (Breaks into laughter)

Welcome Back!

Well, yesterday was the first day back to school. You know, the day were you go over the usual rules, procedures, and expectations. While doing this, I came to a board in my room the explained the activities for the week. On Thursday we were taking a citizenship test. We were doing this to show the 7th graders that if they had to take the citizenship test to become U. S. citizens...they couldn't pass. I was explaining that if you were born in the U. S. or one of its territories, you don't have to take the test because you are a native-born citizen. This ensued:

Mr. H: If you were born in Alabama or Viriginia or any state in the United States, you don't have to take this test. However, if you were born in Canada, Egypt, Mexico, France, England...

(7th grader raises her hand)

7th Grade Student: Chicago?

It's going to be a loooonnnnng year. Welcome back to the blog:)

Maps and Games

I have a map in my room of Alabama. It's a simple map with the larger cities marked, rivers, and counties. A 7th grader wondered:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, is that a map of Alabama's 50 states?


In the same class, the same student had another moment of brilliance. We were playing a review game for our final exam. If the students answered a question correct, they got to putt a golf ball. Seems simple:

7th Grade Student 1: Oh, Mr. H, next time can we play crochet?

Mr. H: Croquet?

7th Grade Student 1: Oh Yeah!

7th Grade Student 2: I love to crochet!

7th Grade Student 1: Wait a minute...Isn't crochet when girls get their hair done?

Mr. H: Yeah, that sounds about right.

George, Babies, and the Digestive System

Today's first story comes from Mrs. Birday...science teacher at the school. While talking about the digestive system in class, the following mental giants spoke up:

7th Grader: Mrs. Birday, can you throw up a baby?

Another 7th Grader: Mrs. Birday, can you take a shower when you're pregnant...cause your water can break.


A 7th grader had a moment of genious in my room today, too:

7th Grader: Mr. H, George Washington and George Bush...those are two different people, right?

Selling Out

Sitting in class yesterday and this happens:

7th Grader: Mr. H, don't you have to have a license to sell things out of your house?

Mr. H: Well, if you make a certain amount of money selling you need a license.

Another 7th Grader: Even if you're selling drugs?

Mr.H thinking to himself: Yes. Please go to the courthouse and ask for a license to sell drugs...you deserve to do that to yourself.

GoDog

Crazy Random:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, What religion to you have to be to have a ghost?

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, My dog has ADHAD. He just runs around in circles all day.