Chips y Salsa

So, if you didn't know, I coach a high school soccer team. Today, after our game, we visited a local McRestaurant. The workers did a great job of handling 30 high schoolers and had us out in no time. When we were walking out, the manager decided to get a little cocky:

McManager: I cleared all of my tickets.

Coach H: Yeah, you guys are really efficient.

Spanish Soccer Player: Oh yeah, try doing that AND serve chips and salsa.

Coach H: Ole!

Funny Friday

The first story came from a brilliant student in my first period story.

7th Grade Student: My first mind told me when I woke up that I shouldn't come to school today.

An Intrigued Mr. H: What did your second mind say?

7th Grade Student: My second mind told me to get up because my mama is bringing me to school.

Mr. H: And your 3rd mind?

7th Grade Student: I told my 2nd mind to shut up.

Story #2:

As a 7th Grade Student was walking into another teacher's class between classes, she yawned and made a "yawn" sound.

Mr. H: Hey, be quiet! (In a joking manner.)

7th Grade Student: Be quiet Mr. H, I'm yarning.

Mr. H: You're yarning? It's called yawning.

7th Grade Student: Whatever, it's the same thing.

Baby Food

I've got a good one from a different teacher this time...her name will be Mrs. Moneybags. She was in class explaining that one of her daughters is pregnant with twins, and that's where we pick up:

Mrs. Moneybags: My daughter is pregnant with twins.

7th grade student: Does she have to eat baby food to feed the babies?

Mrs. Moneybags: (I'm paraphrasing) hahahahahahahahahaha.

Patience, Daniel Son

I've had a lot of fellow teachers offering stories for the blog...They're all good, but I can only remember a few...Here's another wonderful exchange in Mr. Poop's room:

Mr. Poop: What types of martial arts are practiced in Japan?

7th Grader: karaoke

...genius...

Gender is Key

Alright, so the guest speaker was again in my room on Thursday. She was talking to my kids about the danger of online "friends"...stating that you don't need to talk to anyone you don't know, etc. About this time, one of my 7th graders raised their hand and laid this jewel on us:

7th grade student: My cousin was talking with a 15 year old on-line and drove to Tennessee to meet her. She turned out to be a man.

Alone, this is a funny statement, but if you knew the kid it would be that much better.

based vs. basted

This one came out of nowhere:

7th grade student: Is this video basted on a true story?

Mr. H: Yes?

Tigger vs. Trigger

Ok, so this week both myself and Mr. Poop have a guest speaker in our rooms speaking on how students can properly deal with stress and anger. This happened today in Mr. Poop's room:

Guest Speaker: What is a trigger?

7th grade student: It's like a tiger with a springy tail.

Guest Speaker: Excuse me?

7th grade student: You know, like Pooh Bear.

Guest Speaker: uh, no that's a Tigger.