Mistaken Identity

This needs no intro:

Mr. Harvard: Why do you have glue on your eye?

7th Grade Student (girl): I was thinking about Rupaul.

Mr. Harvard: What? I mean, What?

Alphabet Soup

While discussing the Supreme Court and our Chief Justice, this conversation ensued:

Mr. Harvard: Does anyone remember our Chief Justices' name?

7th Grade Student: John G. Roberts, Jr.

Mr. Harvard: Does anyone know what the "G" stands for?

7th Grade Student: Judge?


As a sidenote, I was also asked if I've ever gotten a lap dance today...

Stingy Much?

Well, this one came out of nowhere...

7th Grade Student: I'm a semi-semitic...I don't hate them, they're just money hoarders...

I had no response for this one.

Trick Question

So, today we were talking about the requirements to be President of the United States. I mentioned that my wife was born on a U. S. Army base in Germany. I also said that her dad was a colonel in the army. This prompted this question from a student:

7th grade student: Mr. H, are you afraid of your wife's husband?

Politics

So, Friday in class we were making foldables...a teaching technique that will be obsolete in a month. Students were writing questions on the outside tab of the foldable and writing the answer underneath the tab. Here's one question and answer I got from a 7th grader:

Question: Who was Ronald Reagan?

Answer: The devil.

Whether you agree with the answer or not, that's funny. I'm just surpised that a: one of my students knew who he was and b: he knew how to form an opinion about Reagan.

Another little tidbit: We weren't even talking about the presidents...we were talking about congress.

Marriage

This needs no introduction:

Q: Why do you think people get married?

A: To get money. You marry someone who will cheat on you and then you divorce them and they have to pay you because they cheated on you. But you don't cheat on them because if you cheat you have to pay them and you'll be poor and have to live in the projects next door to a drug dealer. And then you'll get killed by a drive by trying to hit the drug dealer. And then you're dead.

Wow.

China Revisited

Yet another winner from Mr. Poop. His class was discussing the Great Wall of China:

Q: Why was the Great Wall of China Built?

A: To keep terrorists out of the United States.
To keep the dogs from running away. They eat dogs.
To keep the Martians from invading.
So people would have jobs.
To keep the Mexicans from jumping the boarder.