Career Choice

The year is coming to a close. This may be the last installment of middleschoolmouth for many months. So without further ado:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, I was wanting to be a parole officer when I grow up, but my mama told me you can't be something that you're going to need.

Too funny...lemme just tell you...

We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you

A student told me this out of the blue today:

7th grade student: Mr. H, I may break out laughing today during class.

Mr. H: Why?

7th grade student: Because I went to the dentist this morning, and they gave me laughing gas.

Twofer Tuesday

I've got two stories today. Enjoy!

Story One:

Mr. H: President Obama has an African father and a white mother. He's just as much white as he is black.

7th Grade Student: No he's not! He's 50/50!


Story Two:

During 6th period today, I noticed a student slowly taking out his earbuds and put them in his ears. I watched him for a bit, wondering what he was doing since the headphones weren't connected to anything. I saw that he had placed the connection end to his chest. This prompted me to ask the following:

Mr. H: What are you doing?

7th Grade Student: I'm listening to my heart!

Mr. H: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Birthdays

I know this is a little old, but it's still funny. My coworkers decided to play an April Fool's joke on me. They printed off a lot of sheets of paper exclaiming happy birthday to me and posted them all over the school. Also, they put an announcement on the daily announcements wishing me a happy 30th birthday. Well, I'm 26 and my birthday is in August. This confused our students a lot! While I was explaining to my 6th period that this was an April Fool's joke, one of my lovelies said:

7th grade student: Mr. H, do you even have a birthday?

Mr. H: Oh gees.

Mistaken Identity

This needs no intro:

Mr. Harvard: Why do you have glue on your eye?

7th Grade Student (girl): I was thinking about Rupaul.

Mr. Harvard: What? I mean, What?

Alphabet Soup

While discussing the Supreme Court and our Chief Justice, this conversation ensued:

Mr. Harvard: Does anyone remember our Chief Justices' name?

7th Grade Student: John G. Roberts, Jr.

Mr. Harvard: Does anyone know what the "G" stands for?

7th Grade Student: Judge?


As a sidenote, I was also asked if I've ever gotten a lap dance today...