Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Career Choice

The year is coming to a close. This may be the last installment of middleschoolmouth for many months. So without further ado:

7th Grade Student: Mr. H, I was wanting to be a parole officer when I grow up, but my mama told me you can't be something that you're going to need.

Too funny...lemme just tell you...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

We're not laughing with you, we're laughing at you

A student told me this out of the blue today:

7th grade student: Mr. H, I may break out laughing today during class.

Mr. H: Why?

7th grade student: Because I went to the dentist this morning, and they gave me laughing gas.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Twofer Tuesday

I've got two stories today. Enjoy!

Story One:

Mr. H: President Obama has an African father and a white mother. He's just as much white as he is black.

7th Grade Student: No he's not! He's 50/50!

Story Two:

During 6th period today, I noticed a student slowly taking out his earbuds and put them in his ears. I watched him for a bit, wondering what he was doing since the headphones weren't connected to anything. I saw that he had placed the connection end to his chest. This prompted me to ask the following:

Mr. H: What are you doing?

7th Grade Student: I'm listening to my heart!


Monday, May 10, 2010


I know this is a little old, but it's still funny. My coworkers decided to play an April Fool's joke on me. They printed off a lot of sheets of paper exclaiming happy birthday to me and posted them all over the school. Also, they put an announcement on the daily announcements wishing me a happy 30th birthday. Well, I'm 26 and my birthday is in August. This confused our students a lot! While I was explaining to my 6th period that this was an April Fool's joke, one of my lovelies said:

7th grade student: Mr. H, do you even have a birthday?

Mr. H: Oh gees.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mistaken Identity

This needs no intro:

Mr. Harvard: Why do you have glue on your eye?

7th Grade Student (girl): I was thinking about Rupaul.

Mr. Harvard: What? I mean, What?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Alphabet Soup

While discussing the Supreme Court and our Chief Justice, this conversation ensued:

Mr. Harvard: Does anyone remember our Chief Justices' name?

7th Grade Student: John G. Roberts, Jr.

Mr. Harvard: Does anyone know what the "G" stands for?

7th Grade Student: Judge?

As a sidenote, I was also asked if I've ever gotten a lap dance today...